Wednesday, December 28, 2005

As my days on holiday shorten
My thoughts continue to darken
They turn to what I must face
I cannot keep pace
I wish not to go back
Courage is what I lack
I do not wish to tell you passed
How I was harassed
Yet mother I must
For you I trust
I know you love him
But the truth is dim
You must know it
As I fight the bit
I know I must tell you
What is true
That your love did something
That I would wish on no other human being
He did not do the worst
Yet my bubble he did burst
I could never hate him
I am not that dim
But I must finally tell
I hope you won't yell
Those moments I never hoped to relive
He held me captive
In heart and mind I am hurt
But I do not wish for comfort
I just wanted it to dissapear
Those thoughts never to come near
Yet everynight I can't sleep
Fearing what will creep
Into my dreams and haunt me
I just wanted to be left be

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Images on the edges of my vision
Clarity my only mission
I don't know why I did this
I offer you no bliss
I had to see if it would work
I can't see through this murk
I do not know what my future is
But I like the word tis

~Breezy (just ramblings, running out of inspiration)

Saturday, December 24, 2005

You may push me around
But you cannot win
You may throw me down
But I'll rise again
The more you say
The more I defy you
So get out of my face
You cannot stop us
You cannot bring us down
Never give up
We go on and on
You'll never break us
Never bring us down
We are alive!
The wind blows
I'll lean into the wind
My anger grows
I'll use it to win
The more you say
The more I defy you
So get out of my way
All my will
All my strength
Rip it out
Start again
You cannot stop us
You cannot bring us down
Never give up
We go on and on
You'll never break us
Never bring us down
We are alive!
Can you leave it all behind?
Can you leave it all behind?
Cause you can't go back
You can't go back
~The Offspring

Friday, December 23, 2005

As I watched those people walk by
In my thoughts I could not lie
I had never felt this lost
I had forgotten the final cost
Of leading on this life
Of never finishing that strife
Yet here I stand, untouched
My heart so valiantly clutched
I hadn't thought of the consequence
Of the sequence of events
The heartache such thoughts would cause
Only now do I pause
After what will be done is planned
Thoughts so grand
Yet now that it shall finally happen
Maybe its just fiction
All these plans and thoughts
Could be imaginary slipknots
Yet how do I know
Im not at a low
Yet completely oblivious
To the obvious
That were I am lain
I am completely insane

Monday, December 19, 2005

I will not lie
All I wanted was to die
Now I have realized
I was immobilized
For I never knew to love
Until I met you my dove
I used to do things you never knew
You never knew who I slew
Now my only wish is to live
Hopefully you will forgive
My temporary lapse in judgement
And when my heart was absent
Because I owe my life to you
Hopefully I will always be true

Saturday, December 17, 2005

I Swear

The wind is whispering
The rising moon
Puts a spell on my heart
Under stars-twinkling high above
When i close my eyes
We're dancin' into the flame
I won't spend
Finally comes time to decide
Stuck here in the same old bind
Ill be there
By the moon and the stars in the sky
Like a shadow that's by your side
I swear

Thursday, December 15, 2005

I want to tell you yes
But I am such a mess
I hold you dear
But I just can't let you near
For fear I'll hurt you
That I couldn't be true
I am so confused
I feel so used
I know everyday the pain gets worse
I've gone through that course
But I just can't bring myself
To take you off your shelf
I truly want to give what you wish
But I don't want to be selfish
And hurt you as badly as I fear
I cannot let you near
Because thats the only result of this alliance
So I shall, for now, keep my distance


Wednesday, December 14, 2005

I feel so lost
I forgot the cost
Of living this life
Of solving this strife
I thought I wouldn't be caught
I thought I had been taught
Never to become confused
Always know what needed to be used
To never lose track of the goal
Never let battle take its toll
I was taught to never be found
Yet here I lie on the ground
Your sword upon my throat
I had been taught to never gloat
Yet I couldn't resist
Gave into the deadly tempest
Let information leak
Gave it a little tweak
Yet still you hesitated
Knowing I had been blooded
Because you had let emotions factor
Let me pierce your armor
Now i had you in my web
Knowing you were dead
Only a fraction of a second
Passed before I embedded
My knife hilt deep
The blood began to seep
As you fell into the snow
Nobody shall know
That it is I who did it
It is I who threw the hit
I killed you
I was never true
Yet in killing you
I killed myself


Saturday, December 10, 2005

In this cage I stay
Never a thought to say
I can never leave
This burden I heave
I will never be free
For I want to be left be
I can not stand alone
But none is known
Who could lift this weight
It is to late
For me to be free
I shall be caged for eternity
This you an not change
I am out of range
No longer shall I bother
Of this I am sure

~Breezy (no idea where this came from...)