Wednesday, November 30, 2005

I trusted you
Then this you do
For a first I am scared
I feel so impaired
I can't even sleep
Afraid you will creep
Into my room you will come
And I will become a victim
I fear to fall into sleep to deep
For I fear you shall leap
And take my innocence
Remove my essence
I shall become a hollow shell
Nothing more to tell
You have become my first fear
For you have made my life unclear


Friday, November 25, 2005

You all tried to help me
You wouldn't leave me be
Now I think of what would have come
If what I wanted was done
From up above I would watch
As they lit that single match
I would scream when it hit the straw
My mother with feelings so raw
Would watch as the pyre got higher
Those tears would never tire
As my beloved flames destroyed all that was me
I realize what would be
If I did what I threatened
A life would have ended
A flicker of life forever gone
Never able belong
Now I leave you in doubt
What was this written about
Was it about a life ending
Or a life beginning


Thursday, November 24, 2005

Every night I sneak out
Each time by a different route
I do it just to see you
Because you are always true
Night by night my infatuation grows
Yet still nobody knows
You brought me back
Kept me on this track
Every night I just stare into you
Only me and you knew
Those nights when you are hidden from view
My heart throbs for just a glimpse of you
I shall see you soon
For you are the moon


Tuesday, November 15, 2005

You tell me no,
I wish for yes,
You don’t want to bring pain,
You wish for what’s best,
I day-dream, think, and wonder all about you,
I truly don’t know how I’d live without you,
Me and my dad, we get into fights,
But it’s the thought of you
that keeps me going through these nights,
You don’t understand how I feel, or maybe you do,
My point is, I Love You
I dream of the day that you’ll say yes,
I can’t believe I’m getting this off my chest,
The pain you would impart wouldn’t be bad,
No I wouldn’t like it, but eventually I shouldn’t be sad
We would still be friends, nothing more,
My heart wouldn’t be screaming, crying, and sore,
These are my emotions, believe it or not,
Please don’t leave this world,
You’re all that I’ve got.

Today I saw you again
I couldn't hold it in
I walked to a window
I was back to my low
As I watched the snow fall
I realized I had lost it all
I'll never return to normal
I was always so formal
Only once did you see me cry
Those tears could not lie
Yet even more continue to fall
I sit waiting patiently for your call
You have never left my thoughts
I barely hold back these onslaughts
Of powerful raw emotion
For my heart you have stolen
I will always love you
For you I will always be true


Sunday, November 13, 2005

You say you'll do anything
That your heart is aching
I don't want to hurt you
I could never be true
Yet you still want me
How could that be
I warn you just to stay away
Before you mislay
That which is most important
Do not wish for what isn't present
My only wish is to disappear
Its your pain that I fear
Do not hold me dear
For I do not wish to be held


Wednesday, November 09, 2005

I can't take it anymore
I just wanna walk through that door
I try to hide within my own head
But I am always brought back with dread
A rubber room seems so appealing to me
I wish you would all just leave me be
Everyday I go through my classes
Always reminded of these gashes
Nobody realized I hurt so much
Nobody knew I had lost touch
My dreams are becoming more real
My body barely able to feel
Life is becoming less belivable
Every day more trivial
Why can't I just end it
My feelings so hard to admit
My mind is getting more blurry
Dreams becoming more bloody
I barely make it home
Its like im moving through foam
I am rarely able to sleep
I believe things like to creep
Im going to lose my mind
Reality harder to find


Sunday, November 06, 2005

I used to slit my wrists
My hands always in fists
Now you have brought me back
You have brought back what i lack

I would do anything for you
For you I am true
All you need to do is ask
For you i would labor on any task

I count the many seconds
For you my heart beckons
I was so close to letting go
I had never sunk so low

Then you came along
And showed me that i was wrong
For you I stepped back
Away from that fatal track

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

You caught me when I was falling
You saved me when I was dying
Now its time to pay you back
I was ready to crack

You told me the sweetest things
For me they held meanings
You helped me pick up the pieces
When all I could think of were corpses

I crawled into a hole and wouldn't leave
You made me want to believe
That there were better people
You made life o so simple

You gave me your love
And held me like a dove
I owe you my love