I can't take it anymore
I just wanna walk through that door
I try to hide within my own head
But I am always brought back with dread
A rubber room seems so appealing to me
I wish you would all just leave me be
Everyday I go through my classes
Always reminded of these gashes
Nobody realized I hurt so much
Nobody knew I had lost touch
My dreams are becoming more real
My body barely able to feel
Life is becoming less belivable
Every day more trivial
Why can't I just end it
My feelings so hard to admit
My mind is getting more blurry
Dreams becoming more bloody
I barely make it home
Its like im moving through foam
I am rarely able to sleep
I believe things like to creep
Im going to lose my mind
Reality harder to find

~Breezy

I used to slit my wrists
My hands always in fists
Now you have brought me back
You have brought back what i lack

I would do anything for you
For you I am true
All you need to do is ask
For you i would labor on any task

I count the many seconds
For you my heart beckons
I was so close to letting go
I had never sunk so low

Then you came along
And showed me that i was wrong
For you I stepped back
Away from that fatal track

You caught me when I was falling
You saved me when I was dying
Now its time to pay you back
I was ready to crack

You told me the sweetest things
For me they held meanings
You helped me pick up the pieces
When all I could think of were corpses

I crawled into a hole and wouldn't leave
You made me want to believe
That there were better people
You made life o so simple

You gave me your love
And held me like a dove
I owe you my love

~Breezy

Into my hole I go
Never have I felt so low
Life so complicated
I've never felt less solid
This pain is so strong
I can't hold on for long
I try to distance myself
Before I hurt myself
I cry whenever I see your face
Yet in this crawlspace
I can not live without you
This pain so fresh and new
Everyday it gets harder
To pull back from the dagger
Day by day I grow weak
Life seems so bleak
I look around my new home
Soon it will become my tomb
These walls are closing in
I am dying within

~Breezy
(please comment)

This pain is unbearable
I feel so horrible
I wanna crawl into a hole
And lose my soul

My passion is gone
I am withdrawn
Im stuck in my dream
I just wanna scream

Yet you have been there
All through this nightmare
You have waited patiently
Acted so lovingly

Yet until now I haven't realized
What has been waiting to suprise
You have always been there
Wanting to help me repair

I have realized I don't deserve
One so unreserved
You are way to kind
I have lost my mind

~Breezy

Who knew so little information
Could cause so much frustration
How it could shatter an innocent heart
But thats just the start

This tiny piece of knowledge
Has pushed me to the edge
It has caused me so much pain
It has kept me in the rain

It has caused me so much agony
My mind is outside my body
I cannot stand to be in my life
That is why I resort to a knife

Knowing the truth is the best
But it has caused me unrest
This truth I cannot deny
Even though I try

The truth is I cannot have you
It has been proven true
So I will collect the pieces
And eat my reeses.

~Breezy

I stand alone in the rain
Waiting, Wishing, Crying
Wanting to relieve this pain
Will my heart ever stop aching
You took my heart without knowing
Its your choice what to do with it
While I stand here dieing
It took me so long to admit
I would die for you
That I would give anything
If only you to prove im true
I have stopped breathing
Just waiting for you to decide
What you will do with my heart
Will you throw it aside
And rip it apart
Or will you hold it dearly
And bring me out of the rain
Will you let me see clearly
And relieve this pain?

Wall

I think of all the years
I have been closed-up
Shed all these tears
With this wall builtup

Then you came along
And stole my heart
The wall had been up so long
And you ripped it apart

That wall was taken down
Stone by stone it fell
I thought I was gunna drown
In all these emotions gushing in

They attacked me from all sides
Making me wanna scream, cry
They ripped apart my insides
They made me wanna die

But I kept pushing on
Day by day becoming stronger
Waiting for the dawn
When I would wait no longer

How am I to prove to you
That this isn't just a temporary infatuation
That my feelings are true
It took me awhile to make this realization

That'd I do anything for you
Theres no line I would not cross
To prove that im not untrue
Because im at a loss

Why would you believe
That what I say is only temporary
That I can never achieve
This feeling of pure happy

Im willing to wait forever
And do anything and whatever
Until I have you in my arms
And can protect you from harm

My World

Its kinda lonely here
All by my lonesome self
I just wish someone would appear
and say 'hey can I come in?'
But i can't just invite someone
They'd have to be trustworthy
And my trust isn't easily won
Things like that get people locked up
And i don't want a rubber room
No matter how comfortable it is
To become my lonesome tomb
So i sit silently waiting, anticipating
The day when someone will come
But till then ill be waiting, wishing
And listening to my voice echo
In this hollow darkness
Eating my bowl of jell-o

~Breezy

Worry

It is impossible for me to rest,
I hate to have to worry this much,
I can hardly be expected to act my best.
I don't know what will become of you,
What am I to do but sit and wait,
Will you be yourself or be something new?
How am I functioning with all this weight
All these worrys assualt me,
Some my mind makes up as bait.
I never like to feel gloomy,
Its against my original nature
I love to be hyper and active
But I don't know what lies in the future,
I've never felt so much like a captive.
Im trapped by my own worry
Im losing my own stature

~Breezy

Madness

Somewhere beyond happiness and sadness
I need to calulate what creates this madness
The urges are getting stronger
Grasping my defense is harder
I need to get away
To keep this at bay
All this sadness
Is fueling my madness
Ill just grab the knife
And settle this strife
One day I'll just let loose
And tighten the noose
Day by day it gets worse
Closer comes my hearse

~Breezy

Reach

Watching you, from afar
Trying to reach out to you.
My bloody hands come forward
But you seem some far away
I run after you
You just run away
Into the darkness I fall
Being consumed, by what’s around me
I scream out in total fear
I wallow up in my own self pity,
Because you are just out of my reach,
Because, you’ll never be mine.

Fakes

I hate the ones that fake their hurting,
They act all emotionally fucked,
They scratch their wrist and say its cut,
Say they’re so screwed up,

But if they actually had a problem,
I know they couldn’t cope,
Maybe I should help them,
Put the slip into the rope,

I could pull the chair out from underneath them,
Or finish their fake little letter,
Maybe I could kill their friends,
Just to teach them better,

They act all misunderstood,
Like they are so hard done by,
They act like no one could,
Be better then them,

But one day they’ll fall,
And they will crash and burn,
They’ll see that they aren’t all,
It’s the only way they’ll learn.

War of Nothing

The unmistakable sound
Of bodies hitting the ground
Genocide through suicide
Heads held high, full of pride
Another 50 dead in the street
Blood gushing from heads to feet
What can we do? Run as fast as we can?
Or should we drop a nuke on Iran?
Nothing we do will ever succeed
Sitting at home, waiting to bleed
It's a crazy situation where no one wins a fight
Blowing the shit out of us is the terrorists delight
They don't even have a worthy cause
They're just fucked up in the head
They never bothered to stop or pause
To think am I better off dead
So what the fuck do they want?
To forever tarnish the name of Islam?
If Allah was real I'm sure he'd be saying
You're in shit now boys it's no use praying
What is it they think they achieve?
In what fucking God do they believe?
Our time on earth is limited
Why waste it all getting dead
I'm not a hippy dancing with flowers
I don't believe in global superpowers
You know something
This is a war of nothing
I don't care if you blow yourself up
As long as your kind is all that dies
If you hate this world why don't you fuck off!
And leave your corpses to the flies
Now I dub thee a cunt
Nothing more than a piece of junk
You consider yourself a fucking martyr
But I know your not because I'm smarter
Ideals changing as fast as the seasons
Killing us all without any reasons
Feeding off our prolonged misery
To you it must feel heavenly
Alas, those assholes are winning the war
Invisible enemies whom we can't ignore
Why did I have to grow up in generation hate
Can I save the world before it's too late?

Happy Ending

now you know im not pretending
there is such thing as a happy ending
dont think it will come now
because it wont anyhow
because this isnt the end
and im not going to pretend
it may not happen to you
because of the things you do
you have cuts all over your skin
and you wont let anyone in
just because you are going through pain
and it seems its happening all over again
this happens to other people too
it doesnt only happen to you
ill tell you what the other people do
they talk to people to help them through
i have no one i hear you say
yes you do so give that thought away
you have me, your parents and the yellow pages
psychiatrists have been there for ages
waiting by the phone for your call
so they can help you through it all
and these people arent pretending
they are hear to help you get your happy ending

Deterioration

The world, it broke my heart today
When I saw the things that people do and heard the things they say
All of the people who are living on the streets
The babies found in garbage cans, wrapped up in bloody sheets
How could we let our world end up this way?
And I know tomorrow isn't bringing a better day
Our government is so corrupt, we need to take a stand
They keep raising taxes in hopes they will possess our land
So many men and women have died for our country
So we could have equal rights, so that we could live free
So many people have come here hoping to find a better living
But discrimination and poverty is all that America was giving
They came here dreaming of beautiful cities and open meadows
But they were put to harsh labor and made to live in filthy ghettos
And this was so long ago; things have only deteriorated
Society has only gotten worse. Life is so complicated
Gangs are constantly at war with each other
Taking more loved ones from their families and their mother
Drug dealers on every corner selling death and comatose
Addicts concerned with nothing more then getting the next dose
There's no room left in jail, rapists are living in our community
And there's so much more behind the scenes, the things that we don't see
Kids are bringing guns to school, killing each other over religion and race
Teenagers are having babies, or dropping out, this generation has become a disgrace
Drinking and driving, experimenting with pills and cocaine
Anything to have a good time, or stop the anger and the pain
It seems we do anything in our power to cause some controversy
And we're in denial about what we have come to be

My Rising Sun

Rolling off the sunset,
Flowing with the sands.
Living life the fullest,
With emptiness in hands.

Raised upon the promise,
That someone guards my soul.
But after this last hour,
I wonder where to go.

The sun has set upon my face,
And left me in the night.
And in this darkest moment,
He comes and shines so bright.

The weight across my shoulders,
Could crush the average man.
But I contain the one thing,
And with love I withstand.

Always they’re within me,
Never far from sight.
He is what I live for,
He carries me through night.

Nothing that I ever do,
Could equal what he’s done.
All I have is my love for him,
He is my rising sun.

Day By Day

You don't know how I feel
Oblivious to the fact
Never knowing the truth
Everyday I gather courage
One day I will tell you
When I have the guts
I just don't want to confirm
That you'll never love me back
So day by day I gather Courage
Hopefully I will one day tell you
I love you

~Breezy

Empty Promises

I will forgive but I won't forget
You know you've lost my respect
You better watch out
Cause I'm not a pawn
For you to use in your fucking game
I've got dignity and pride
Your troubled and you let me down
I'm not deaf to all your empty promises